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Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells with a family member who is struggling?

Have you lost your sense of self in all the stress? Do you yearn to live a life with more ease, purpose and connection?

It’s easy for parents or family members of loved ones in a recovery or treatment program to lose their sense of self during the difficult, stressful journey toward placement.  Guilt, isolation, worry, anger and resentment are very common.  All the focus has been on getting the loved one help.  And during this difficult time, the family member has suffered, too.

Imagine your family was whole and intact.

You could enjoy all the daily routines of family life; meals, car pooling, and fun times with friends or extended family.  You could make plans for the future, be spontaneous and enjoy the moment.  You would feel free to express your thoughts and feelings and be free from excessive worry about the future.

You’ve been trying to fix, hide or control your loved one’s difficulties.  All your time and effort has been devoted to their problem, which seemed never ending at the time.   You’ve withdrawn from others outside the family to avoid the embarrassment and fear of being the focus of gossip.  You’re hurt and afraid of what’s next.

The focus has been all on your loved one, ignoring your needs and sense of self.

What you need to do

First and foremost when you want something to change, the change needs to start with you.  You need to develop self- awareness of your thoughts and feelings.  Notice your reactions to your thoughts.  Acknowledge you have a choice of how to respond in the moment . Give yourself loving kindness.  Learn to be in the present moment and create from a new place.  You can choose how to respond in the moment, and not react automatically from your initial impulses (old patterns).

Barbara Bogrand RN, MS CPCC Family Recovery and Life Coaching

Oasis Coaching empowers parents or family members of loved ones who are in a recovery or treatment program struggling to cope and find peace and serenity.  I provide group and individual coaching to help rediscover your sense of self and rekindle your relationship with your loved one.

Are my services right for you? Learn more about Is This You?.